Are we doomed by divorce rates?

So I've seen this article and it's sister articles popping up on my friends' newsfeeds about the divorce rate lies that society has been feeding us. It chaps me a little bit because while some of her points are valid, the only element of credibility her claim has is that she received research training at Harvard. Other than that none of her proclaimed numbers hold any scholarly validated backing, and that scares me a little bit.

But in reality, we do see a decline in the divorce rate in America over the last twenty years. Divorces reached their 50% peak in the 1980's as a result of No-fault Divorce, but then began to decline steadily after that, with a decline in the last decade. Take a look at the dotted green line on our little graph here. You'll see that while it's still pretty high, it's definitely on its way down.

National Bureau of Economic Research 2007 Report

There are several speculations for why this decline is happening, but the honest truth is that most researchers aren't sure. One of the possibilities is the later age of marriage trend happening currently in the US. We do see that marriages that happen at age 27 and greater tend to be more stable, which leads to a lower divorce rate, but they also tend to report lower marital satisfaction.

However, regardless of what the numbers say, I think that the most important thing to remember regarding marriage and divorce is that the statistics don't determine our fate - we do. The statistics of heart attacks in America are relatively similar to the divorce statistics we're seeing, but I would venture to say that if you're the person that maintains a healthy lifestyle, you're not too worried about that. Marriage is the same. Divorce isn't something that happens to us. It is a series of choices, something that doesn't have to be an option.

In fact, research shows us that if we live by principles of commitment, love, compassion, forgiveness, and respect in our relationships, marital satisfaction skyrockets. As we choose to stay committed as couples, turn toward one another in conflict, and are willing to let things go, while hard times, annoyances, and conflict will still happen we will find deeper love and appreciation in our relationships.