Is religion harmful for our children?

In today's society we are more prone to moral relativism than we are to see behaviors as "right" and "wrong." We're generally willing to admit as parents that we want our children to have some type of moral code - no one wants their 16 year old having sex, stealing or doing drugs - but more often than not, it's nor related to religious conviction. This is a change from 60 years ago. We now see a shift in perspective where individuals see religion as restrictive, and even damaging. Many believe that those with stark religious values rebel more frequently and more drastically than those that were raised without it.

When we look at the research we find that while there is some truth to this, it's really found in only extreme cases. For the most part, we find that families who participate regularly in religious services, and utilize this as a unifying element of their family unit, reap some pretty great benefits. However, the trend that we do see is the difference between proclaiming or affiliating with a religion, and devotion and worship to a religion. 

Adolescents who are actively involved in a religious community (attending weekly meetings, and other activities during the week) exhibit better academic performance and prosocial behaviors, along with lower elves of sexual activity and drug and alcohol use. The National Study of Youth and Religion (NYSR) followed a group of religiously devoted youth - sampled throughout the country and made up of several different religions - and they found that these adolescents showed the highest quality of parent-child relationships in every area. This means they had higher levels of honesty, acceptance, understanding, feeling loved by and close to their parents, and an overall better relationship. In their findings they concluded that the practice of religion as a family seemed to create a strong connection within the family relationship.

Several studies have also shown that utilizing religion as a coercive or disciplining element in the family, as well as accepting it as a method of exclusion or elitism can have negative effects. In fact, most of the statistics would agree that it's better for children to be without religion, than to have it as a coercive and controlling influence in their lives. However, the data also agrees that as parents focus on their own personal religious behaviors - prayer, study of religious materials and scriptures, etc. - they are more likely to feel close to their children, provide warm and caring support, and set clear and appropriate boundaries and expectations for their children.

Overall, these studies don't espouse one religion, or even Christianity as many of us tend to immediately think when we hear religion. They just show us that ascribing to a method of worship that promotes positive morals and contains a strong sense of community and support, as well as carrying these elements of worship into the home can greatly enrich family life. Just remember that these benefits are only realized when our worship opens ourselves and our families to the service and love of others within and without the family unit.